Seasoned vet.

War stories. Ok.
I was naught but a green private still excited about seeing the world; it was my first week at work. In one of my first pitched battles i made a tactical error that put me in for one of the fights of my life. I i had just eaten lunch so naturally i decided to wash my hands before and after the battle. I used a paper towel to dry them, then threw it in the toilet. I then began laying waste to the battlefield. When it was all over i flushed. The water began rising. I was doomed. Luckily i spotted my weapon of choice for this predicament. A plunger. I charged. Water overtopped but i battled on. Soon the tides turned but we took heavy casualties. I cleaned the battlefield and the local population remained ignorant to the chaos that was mere rooms away. This is now known in history as V-B day.